Lessons learned

Even though my Dad is no longer reachable by phone,  I choose to remember everything about him .. the good, the bad and the ugly.   You know how sometimes when people pass away, their loved ones automatically elevate them to saint hood?  Well, not me. 

For most of my life, he was largely absent.  I recently found a pile of cards from him, even a First Communion card from way back in 1978.  Just a few nights ago, I found a card from a flower arrangement and it said "Merry Christmas from your absentee father".   You see, he knew he was not perfect and so did we but that did not stop us from loving him.   I should mention he spent 20 years in the Navy and was stationed very far away from us much of the time.  

When he unexpectedly passed away last summer, I was rocked to the core.   I am was mad at him for dying, for smoking, for not always being there and anything else I could think of.   Smoking killed him, not because he had lung cancer because he dropped a damn zippo lighter and caught his house on fire.  I have learned the stuffing in your couch is a better accelerant than gasoline, I have learned it only takes one breath, ONE, to breath toxic fumes and render you unconscious, I have learned you only have 30 seconds to get out of your house to have any chance of survival.   My Dad was a large man, 6'6" tall and he had Parkinson's disease, there is no way he could have moved that fast but somehow he made it to the back door.  I've learned the kindness of strangers, my Dad's neighbors, people I have never met called 9-1-1 after the kids playing in the cove smelled smoke.  The kids who tried to kick in his front door. 

I have learned my life must continue even though his on earth has stopped.  Fortunately for me, I had many conversations with him about his last wishes.  I knew he wanted to be cremated (ironic, no?) and be burried in a National Cementary.  When he passed away, there was a National Cementary in Jacksonville under construction.   We choose to hold his ashes until it opened in January.   For Spring Break, Brandon and I loaded up the kids and headed out on a 12 hour, 17 LONG HOURS DRIVE to my Mother's in St. Augustine, FL.  On Monday, March 9, 2009, David R. Krout was laid to rest in Jacksonville National Cementary with full Military Honors for 20 years of service.